If nothing else, Rudy is reliably bad. His schedule may vary a few minutes here and there from day to day, but for the most part, the below schedule is VERY accurate.
Wake up and chew all plugs that were not unplugged the night before. If plugs are unavailable, chew any boxes, charging cables, toes, or anything else that makes noise or requires the human to get out of bed for a game of tag.
Eat first breakfast.
Back to bed.
Ignore the human’s alarm and pretend to go back to sleep, giving her a false sense of security that nothing is going to be destroyed.
Ensure human is focused on work, then start acting like an asshole so she gets up and goes to the kitchen again to reward bad behavior.
Second breakfast.
Back yard patrol from observation tower (weather dependent).
Nap upstairs; in the sun if available.
Commence acting like an asshole again (e.g. bite holes in bag of potting mix or bird seed) until human:
a. takes me outside for a walk.
b. feeds me to reward my deplorable behavior. Again.
Nap upstairs. Or downstairs.
Campaign for first supper.
Eat first supper.
Continue acting like a down-and-out orphaned kitten until human takes me for another walk, a ride in the car, or plays with me.
Unknown.
Campaign for second supper.
Eat second supper and choose one of the following activities:
a. Beg to go outside in the dark then scratch living room rug if outdoor access is denied.
b. Race around the house at warp speed and act like a neglected waif.
c. Scratch at television screen until human turns on Jerry Mouse or bird channel on CatTV.
Snuggle on human’s lap or hide upstairs.
Bedtime treats, wrestle with Rosie (optional), and bedtime.
